The Conversation That Should Have Ended It
I met Khalil at a graduate programme in London. He was brilliant, kind, and devoutly Muslim. I was a pastor's daughter from Lagos. On paper, this was a disaster waiting to happen.
Our first real conversation about faith happened over shawarma at midnight, three weeks after we'd started spending time together. He told me about his relationship with Allah — the discipline of daily prayer, the beauty of Ramadan, the peace he found in submission. I told him about my relationship with Jesus — the intimacy, the freedom, the way I'd felt God's presence in my lowest moments.
We didn't agree. But we listened. Really listened.
What My Family Said
My father didn't speak to me for two months when I told him. My mother was gentler but firm: "This will end in heartbreak. For both of you." My church community treated me like a cautionary tale.
Khalil's family had their own version of the same conversation.
The Prayer That Changed Things
I spent a year praying about the relationship. Not "God, make him become Christian" — I knew that wasn't fair or real. I prayed, "God, show me what you see when you look at us. Show me if this is from you or if I'm being stubborn."
The answer came slowly, through small moments. Through the way Khalil's faith made him more generous, more disciplined, more honest. Through the way our different prayers seemed to land in the same place. Through a dream I had where I saw two rivers flowing from different mountains into the same sea.
Where We Are Now
Khalil didn't become Christian. I didn't become Muslim. We got married in a civil ceremony that honoured both traditions. We pray differently in the same house. Our children will learn both stories and choose their own.
This isn't a story with a neat evangelical ending. But I believe it's a God story. Because the God I know is bigger than the boxes we build for him. And the love that Khalil and I share — the sacrificial, patient, "I will learn your language even though it's not mine" kind of love — feels more like Jesus than half the Christian marriages I've seen.
What This Means for You
I'm not telling you to go date someone of a different faith. I'm telling you that God can't be contained by your categories. If you're in a complicated situation, don't look for easy answers. Look for God's fingerprints. They're rarely where you expect them.