Anna van den Berg lost her husband, Willem, on a rainy Wednesday evening in October 2021. He was cycling home from his architecture firm in Utrecht when a drunk driver ran a red light and hit him. Willem died at the scene. He was forty-four.
The Crash
The driver — a twenty-six-year-old named Lars — was found slumped over his steering wheel. His blood alcohol level was three times the legal limit. He'd been drinking at a client dinner. He survived with a broken collarbone and concussion.
Anna heard the news from two police officers at her front door. She collapsed. Their twin daughters, age eleven, were upstairs doing homework. She had to climb those stairs and tell them their father was dead.
The following days were a blur of grief, paperwork, and numbness. The funeral was on a Saturday. Five hundred people came. Willem was beloved — a gentle man who designed affordable housing and coached his daughters' hockey team.
The Visit
On the Tuesday after the funeral, Anna did something her family thought was insane. She drove to UMC Utrecht hospital and asked to see Lars. He was still there — recovering from his injuries, under police guard, awaiting charges.
Anna's sister begged her not to go. Her pastor cautioned her to wait. Her mother-in-law was furious. But Anna had been reading Corrie ten Boom's story — how she'd forgiven a former guard at Ravensbrück — and she couldn't shake one thought: "If I wait for the anger to pass, it never will. It'll eat me alive."
Lars was unconscious when she arrived. Anna sat beside his bed for an hour. She held his hand — the hand that had been on the steering wheel — and prayed. She prayed for Lars, for his family, for herself, and for the grace to mean what she was about to say.
When Lars opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was the wife of the man he'd killed. He recoiled. Anna said: "My name is Anna. You killed my husband. And I forgive you."
The Aftermath
Lars wept uncontrollably. The nurse called security. Anna stayed calm. She told Lars about Willem — not to hurt him, but because she wanted him to know who he'd taken. Then she told him about Jesus, and about a woman named Corrie who'd forgiven worse.
Lars was sentenced to four years. Anna testified at his trial — not for the prosecution, but to confirm her forgiveness publicly. The Dutch media called it "ongelooflijk" — unbelievable.
Lars wrote to Anna from prison. She wrote back. When he was released in 2025, he attended a church in Amersfoort. Anna and her daughters met him for coffee.
"Forgiveness didn't bring Willem back," Anna says. "But it kept me alive. Grief and bitterness together are lethal. I chose grief with grace. That's what kept me standing for my daughters."