Lacey Sturm, lead vocalist of the rock band Flyleaf, was raised in an atheist home. As a teenager, she fell into deep depression after her cousin was beaten to death by his stepfather. She became convinced God didn't exist.
Atheist Spiraling Into Depression
"When I was an atheist I hated people, especially people that talked about God," Sturm recalled. "I thought that they were naive. It wasn't a good thing to tell people about God and make them feel like they're safe when bad things happen."
Her depression deepened until she saw no reason to live. "When you're an atheist, if life gets too hard, there's really no reason to keep going." She came home from school determined to end her life.
God Saved Me From Suicide
But her grandmother was unexpectedly home. After a huge argument, her grandmother sent her to church. It was at that service her life was transformed forever.
Sturm was shocked when the pastor conducted a sermon on pain and struggle. She had always thought Christians didn't have real problems. But he seemed to be describing exactly how she felt. Even more disturbing, the minister began describing feelings of suicide and called forward anyone with those feelings.
Encountering Christ's Love and Forgiveness
Lacey tried to leave. At the door, she was met by an elderly man with tears in his eyes. He spoke kindly, sharing Christ's love and how it could remove her pain. Despite her cynicism, she allowed him to pray for her.
During that prayer, "the reality of my sin in the sight of a perfect and holy God impacted me, but it was not God's judgment and condemnation that I felt, but rather his love, forgiveness and desire to restore me."
"I heard the message: I'm worth loving and created by a good God, my life is important no matter what anybody says."
Life Transformed Through Faith
Sturm then worked on sobering up from drugs and drinking, quit cigarettes, and ended her lesbian relationship. In 2002, she joined others to form Passerby, later renamed Flyleaf. She published her story in "The Reason: How I Discovered a Life Worth Living." Today she is a practicing Orthodox Christian.
