Professor Researching the Religious Right
I was a tenured professor of English and women's studies at Syracuse University. My specialty was queer theory. I had a lesbian partner I loved, we had co-authored the university's domestic partnership policy together, and I was a leader in the LGBTQ community. I was also writing a book that would prove the Religious Right was bigoted and hateful.
To research that book, I needed to understand the enemy. So I wrote an article criticizing Promise Keepers and what I called their "hatred" of people like me. I expected the usual responses - angry letters, hate mail.
Instead, I received a letter from Ken Smith, a pastor at a local Reformed Presbyterian church. His letter was kind, thoughtful, and offered to discuss my questions over dinner. I threw it away. Then I retrieved it. His letter didn't fit my categories. He wasn't hateful. He was curious.
Unexpected Friendship and Bible Study
For two years, Ken and his wife Floy welcomed me into their home for dinner every week. They didn't preach at me or try to fix me. They simply loved me - while also being clear about their beliefs. Ken once told me, "There's a difference between acceptance and approval. If you can live with that difference, I can live with that difference."
During those two years, I read the Bible. All of it. Seven times. I was looking for the bigotry, the hatred, the inconsistency that would prove the Christians wrong. Instead, I found myself haunted by Jesus. The words of Christ got under my skin. I couldn't shake them.
Professor Converted to Christianity
In 1999, my conversion came like a train wreck. It was violent, unexpected, and total. I didn't convert because I was persuaded by arguments or convicted of specific sins. I converted because the Bible itself became a living thing that demanded my response. God became real to me in a way I couldn't deny.
I lost everything. Friends who had been like family turned their backs. Colleagues questioned my ethics. My partner and I ended our relationship. As I describe it: "I lost everything but the dog."
Life Transformed by Christ
But I gained Christ. I gained a new family in the church. And eventually, I gained Kent, a Reformed Presbyterian pastor who became my husband. We have children and grandchildren now, and our home is filled with the same radical hospitality that Ken and Floy showed me.
I don't call myself an "ex-lesbian" - that puts identity in the wrong place. I am a Christian. My identity is in Christ, not in my past attractions or anyone else's labels. Jesus is my everything now.
