For a decade, I was the lead guitarist of Korn, one of the biggest heavy metal bands in the world. We sold millions of albums, toured the globe, and lived the rock star life. But behind the fame, I was dying.
Korn Guitarist's Severe Addiction
I was addicted to methamphetamines, Xanax, Vicodin, Valium, and alcohol. Both my father and grandfather were alcoholics - it ran in my blood. I would perform entire concerts on cocaine or meth, barely remembering them afterward. Multiple rehab facilities told me they couldn't help me because my addiction was too severe.
A Father's Breaking Point
The turning point came when I walked into my house after a bender and found my little daughter Jennea, still a toddler, singing one of Korn's songs - "A.D.I.D.A.S." If you know the song, you know what those letters stand for. Hearing those words come out of my baby girl's mouth broke something in me. "I do not want to exist anymore," I thought.
Someone invited me to church. I only went because I wanted to be around sober people - I could not have cared less about religion. But that first Sunday, God opened my heart. Something shifted inside me that I cannot fully explain.
Leaving Fame for Jesus Christ
On February 22, 2005, I left Korn. The band's management announced that after almost twelve years, I had "chosen the Lord Jesus Christ as his savior." Two weeks later, on March 10, I was baptized in the Jordan River with a group from my church in Bakersfield. Over 13,000 people showed up when I shared my testimony at a church shortly after.
I checked myself into a hotel to detox. After years of failed attempts, I was clean in just two days. Outside of one slip a week later, I have been clean ever since. Jesus did what no rehab could do.
Returning as Light in Darkness
I will be honest: in the early years, I went too far. I became the annoying religious guy shoving my faith down everyone's throat. I had traded one addiction for another - addiction to drugs for addiction to being "religious." I had to find balance, to let my faith be genuine rather than fanatical.
In 2013, I rejoined Korn. Now I use my platform in the band to share the Gospel with fans who might never set foot in a church. I am a light in the heavy metal scene. God didn't save me to take me out of the darkness - He saved me to shine in it.
