How to encourage a church member struggling with doubt

A church office desk with an open Bible, a notebook with a pen across it, a mug of tea and a box of tissues in soft window light

He stays behind after the service, stacking chairs slower than he needs to, and then he says it quietly: I don't know if I believe any of this anymore.

Encourage him by listening before you answer. Thank him for telling you, and ask what the doubt is about, because doubt over suffering, over a prayer that went unanswered, over a hard passage and over a tired heart each call for a different conversation. Keep Scripture close and your opinions short. Mark 9, Jude and John 20 all record doubt meeting patience from Jesus or His apostles. Offer a few unhurried conversations over several weeks, and check that he has other support in his life. Staying present and curious does more than a quick fix, and it gives him room to say what is really there.

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How can a pastor encourage a church member who is struggling with doubt?

A pastor encourages a doubting member by listening first, asking what the doubt is about, and staying in the conversation for weeks instead of solving it in one sitting. Most people who admit doubt to a pastor have carried it alone for a long time, so telling you was the hard part.

Start with the person, then the question. Ask when the doubt began and what happened around then: a bereavement, a prayer that went unanswered, a conflict at church, a hard passage, plain exhaustion. Many people expect to be corrected and brace for it. Meeting them with interest helps them relax and keep talking.

Then take the next small step with them. Agree on one conversation to follow this one, and put a date on it. If they are willing, ask them what they remember of God from better days, and let that sit beside the doubt.

What should you say first when someone tells you they are doubting?

Say thank you, and then ask a question. Your first sentence sets the tone for every conversation after it, so make it a welcome and leave the answer for later.

Thank you for trusting me with that. I am not worried about you for telling me, and I am not going to rush you. Can you tell me what it has been like?

If they say they feel ashamed, you can add something like this:

Plenty of people in the Bible said out loud that they struggled. You are in good company, and you are welcome here.

If they ask whether you ever doubt, answer honestly and briefly, then return to them. Resist the urge to produce an argument in the first five minutes. A doubting person usually wants to know whether anyone can hear them, and an argument too early tells them nobody can.

Which Bible passages help a church member who is doubting?

Mark 9, Jude 22, John 20 and Matthew 11 each record doubt being met with mercy, and the psalmist in Psalms 77 steadied himself by remembering. Choose one for the conversation instead of listing them all.

A father brought his son to Jesus and said, "if You can do anything, have compassion on us and help us" (Mark 9:22). Jesus answered him, and the father's reply is a prayer anyone can borrow: "I do believe; help my unbelief!" (Mark 9:24).

Jude told the church how to treat people in exactly this place: "And indeed, have mercy on those who doubt;" (Jude 1:22).

Thomas wanted to see for himself, and Jesus came to him and answered the request: "Put your finger here and look at My hands. Reach out your hand and put it into My side. Stop doubting and believe." (John 20:27).

John the Baptist, sitting in prison, sent his disciples to ask Jesus a direct question: "Are You the One who was to come, or should we look for someone else?" (Matthew 11:3). Jesus answered by telling them to report what they had heard and seen (Matthew 11:4).

The psalmist chose a way back: "I will remember the works of the LORD; yes, I will remember Your wonders of old." (Psalms 77:11).

Offer one passage and ask which line caught them. Do not use any of these as a corrective.

What should a pastor avoid saying to someone who doubts?

Avoid anything that shuts the conversation, such as a verse used as a full stop, a promise that doubt will pass, or a suggestion that the problem is a lack of faith. The table gives replacements a leader can use as written.

Avoid saying	Say instead
You just need to have more faith.	Tell me what has made it hard to believe lately.
Doubt is the enemy.	Asking questions is allowed here. Let us take them one at a time.
Have you been reading your Bible and praying enough?	What has it been like to pray recently?
Everyone goes through this, it will pass.	I do not know how long it will last, and I will walk through it with you.
God has a plan, so there is nothing to worry about.	I am sorry. That sounds heavy. Can we sit with it a while?
I will pray that you believe again.	Would it help if I prayed with you now, for whatever you would like?

Each replacement in the right column asks, names a feeling or offers company. None of them promises a result you cannot guarantee, and none speaks for God about what He is doing.

When should a pastor refer a doubting member for more help?

Refer when doubt comes with signs of depression, hopelessness, panic, or any mention of self-harm or suicide. Doubt on its own is a normal part of faith, but low mood that lasts, loss of sleep or appetite, or a sense that life is not worth living needs more than pastoral conversation.

In the UK, suggest the member speaks to their GP. If they say they are thinking of ending their life, stay with them and ask directly. Samaritans can be reached free on 116 123 at any hour, and if there is immediate danger call 999.

Keep what you record minimal. Notes about a member's religious beliefs or health are special category data under UK GDPR, so write down only what you need to care for them, keep it secure and tell them what you hold. Check your church's safeguarding procedures with your own safeguarding lead, or with a body such as thirtyone:eight, before you decide how to store or share anything.

What does a six-week conversation plan look like?

A six-week plan gives a doubting member a steady rhythm of short conversations, each with one purpose. Agree to it with them before you start, and let them stop or slow it down at any point.

Week 1: listen. Thank them, ask what the doubt is about and when it began, and say you will meet again next week.
Week 2: understand. Ask what changed around the time it started. Take notes only if they agree, and keep them brief.
Week 3: read one passage together. Pick one from the list above and ask which line stayed with them.
Week 4: remember. Ask them to bring three dated things God has said or done, and listen to each without comment.
Week 5: ask what helps. Find out who else supports them and whether sleep, grief or health are part of this. Offer to pray with them.
Week 6: look back. Ask what has shifted, and agree the next step: monthly check-ins, a small group, or more time.

Sample opening for week 1: I would like to meet for six short conversations. There is nothing to prepare, and you can stop whenever you like. I would just like to understand what you are carrying.

How can remembering what God has done steady a doubting believer?

Remembering gives a doubting believer something solid to stand on while the questions stay open. The God who speaks has spoken before in their life, and what He said and did is still on the record, even on a day when it feels distant.

Asaph, the psalmist, stood where your member stands. He asked in the same psalm whether the Lord had forgotten to be gracious. Then he made a decision: "I will reflect on all You have done and ponder Your mighty deeds." (Psalms 77:12). He went back to what God had done, and it carried him through the night.

Invite your member to do the same, at their own pace. Ask them to name three specific things, each with a date, that they believe God said or did in their life: an answered prayer, a verse that carried them, a prophecy or encouragement someone shared that they still remember, a moment of unexpected peace. Ask them to write each one down, because doubt can blur what really happened. The Doxa app is built for keeping exactly this, so that what God has said and done stays in one place they can open on the worst days. Their record is theirs to share or keep private.

Jesus came to Thomas behind locked doors (John 20:26), and the God who spoke then has spoken in their life too, and what He said is still true on the day they read it back.

FAQ

What do you say to a church member who is struggling with doubt?

Thank them for telling you, and ask what the doubt has been like. Avoid answers and promises in the first conversation. A line such as I am glad you told me, and I am not going anywhere gives them something to hold.

Is doubt a sin?

Scripture records doubt being met with mercy. Jude told believers to have mercy on those who doubt, Jesus came to Thomas with an answer to his request, and the father in Mark 9 prayed honestly and Jesus acted. A pastor can treat doubt as a place to walk with someone, and ask what lies underneath it.

How long should you walk with someone through doubt?

For as long as they want company, with a clear first stretch such as the six weeks above. Agree a next step at the end, and let them lead the pace.

When is doubt more than a spiritual struggle?

When it appears alongside persistent low mood, sleeplessness, panic or thoughts of self-harm. Encourage them to see their GP, and share Samaritans on 116 123 if they need to talk to someone at night. Check with your safeguarding lead if you are unsure what to do next.

Keep Reading

Doxa gives a church a place to record what God has said and done and return to it together, through the doubting days as well as the glad ones. It is free to start. See how Doxa works for churches, or get the free prophecy policy PDF.

Garth Watson

November 2, 2026 Remember

Download Doxa, the app for recording, weighing and remembering prophetic encouragement.